r/wholesomememes
•
u/IlianaDo
•
5d ago
•
1
this made me smile
/img/rpm4do87rtd81.jpg
[removed] — view removed post
2.8k
u/00Wow00 5d ago
I wish I could know what was said at the bar to have prompted the call.
2.2k
u/TheHumanPickleRick 5d ago
"Nah man but think about it whenever you see those little buzzy fucks flying they don't have legs, right? I don't think they ever land."
"Ted, that's ridiculous, they have to land sometime, how else would they sleep?"
"They probably sleep while flying like fish sleep while swimming."
"That's not how... that's not... hey didn't you take a class about birds? Call your professor."
"Oh, right, right."
700
u/P0werPuppy 5d ago
Fun fact: Frigate birds sleep while flying.
908
u/ChildishCannedBeanO 5d ago •
They originally thought about stopping somewhere for the night but couldn’t find a suitable spot, so they just said “frigate let’s just keep flying”. True story.
123
u/P0werPuppy 5d ago
I fucking love this joke.
74
u/ChildishCannedBeanO 5d ago
Glad it didn’t fly over your head
39
2
21
4
30
20
7
2
u/dumbodragon 5d ago
I don't get it
6
u/smg7320 5d ago
I think they’re using “frigate” as a pun on “frig it,” essentially a minced oath meaning “fuck it”.
5
u/dumbodragon 5d ago
oooh, thanks. English isn't my first language so I thought I was just pronouncing it really weird
4
4
5
1
9
5
2
2
1
u/Kramerica13 5d ago
During courtship, the male frigate bird inflates to enormous size the red pouch found here.
32
u/gerstyd 5d ago
I am pretty sure I actually read migratory birds go in to a sort of sleep trance while flying. Birds are metal.
33
u/bitemark01 5d ago
Yeah albatrosses have been recorded flying 10,000km in one go, and their heart rate drops to their resting heart rate on land. It's never been proven that they sleep while flying, but highly speculated.
Dolphins "sleep" with one hemisphere at a time, it's probably something similar to that
2
19
u/PM_MILF_STORIES 5d ago
If they were drunk, that conversation definitely had a lot more “fucks” dropped in it.
9
3
1
u/Iheardyoubutsowhat 5d ago
Or.....they googled "bird professor" for their local or state university, then looked up his #.....total cold call.
135
u/ValkyrCodeWolfy 5d ago
Probably a bet or a debate
45
5d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
21
1
u/Auggie_Otter 5d ago
Actually his name is Professor Byrd. He's a physicist and doesn't even study birds. The whole bird professor thing is a misunderstanding.
1
u/SpambotSwatter 4d ago edited 4d ago
/u/Accomplishedfd is a scammer! It is stealing comments to farm karma in an effort to "legitimize" its account for engaging in scams and spam elsewhere. Please downvote their comment and click the
reportbutton, selectingSpamthenHarmful bots.Please give your votes to the original comment, found here.
With enough reports, the reddit algorithm will suspend this scammer.
Karma farming? Scammer?? Read the pins on my profile for more information.
10
u/makemeking706 5d ago
And they probably looked up pictures before looking up phone numbers, so they saw pictures of feet yet were still incredulous.
Or, it's completely made up. I mean, a professor being in there office? Highly dubious.
3
2
u/ablondedude 5d ago
If this was pre 2005-ish a lot of phones didn't really have internet and the ones that did were slowly and clunky.
2
2
56
u/messed_up_banana 5d ago
I’m thinking something along the lines of trivia night maybe? Given the cheering in the background.
55
u/aj_robinson26 5d ago
Hummingbirds are in the order apodiformes, which is Latin for footless, so it’s often a misconception that instead of having extremely short legs and small feet, they actually don’t have feet at all
30
u/Tribblehappy 5d ago
I can see this being a misconception if you've only seen them hovering above feeders and flowers. My mom bought a hummingbird feeder with perches and was delighted the first time she saw one actually land before taking a drink. Her assumption was it saves them energy not to hover while eating so she only buys this style now. I think she's up to three, and has several hummingbirds visit regularly.
1
u/Zeiramsy 4d ago
The way you started that sentences... you wouldn't happen to have string oppionions about Corvidae?
9
u/Missdollarbillinnit 5d ago edited 5d ago
It sounds like the drunk guy was arguing that hummingbirds had no feet while his mates at the bar argued that hummingbirds had feet and it settled on checking with someone and if they had feet (the bird) then drunk guy owed the rest of the crowd drinks.
7
4
u/SunSkyBridge 5d ago
It used to be one of those factoids (false facts!) floating around, that hummingbirds can’t land. I remember someone telling me this in the early ‘90s, as we were sitting around watching a hummingbird feeder. Him: “You know hummingbirds don’t even have feet, they have to fly nonstop and that’s why they need to consume so many calories each day.” Me: “Look at that hummingbird that just landed on the branch! See its feet?” Him: “Well, that’s what I was told.”
3
u/wtfisthisnoise 5d ago
Well, Normie it’s a little known fact that hummingbirds don’t nest, they lay eggs upside down and carry their hatchlings on their back. Hence the lack of feet.
3
2
2
u/funktheduck 5d ago
When I was a kid, my family got into a huge argument about this very topic. My aunt was convinced that hummingbirds didn’t have feet. I went and got a bird book to prove her wrong. When I showed her proof her reply: some hummingbirds have feet (like the ones pictured), but not all.
1
u/00Wow00 5d ago
Classic response from some people.
2
u/funktheduck 5d ago
I think it’s what happens when people get so entrenched in their argument they can’t admit fault.
2
1
588
u/Sad-Surprise4369 5d ago
If you’re a professor and you get a call “is this the bird professor” and instead of being snotty you’re just confused and answer the persons question, you’re doing good :)
43
u/WolfgangGrimer 5d ago
Yeah it shows that you are confident and proud of your job and not insecure at all
635
u/yeetman426 5d ago
282
u/StormTAG 5d ago
I'm glad smart phones weren't a thing when I was in high school. Someone probably would've filmed us car jousting and it would've either been viral, got us sent to jail or both.
96
31
13
u/Vedanthegreat2409 5d ago
how does car jousting even work in the first place
66
u/AlmostButNotQuit 5d ago
The trick is to lash the car to your arm after you mount the horse.
7
7
3
1
u/StormTAG 4d ago
Well, we got boards to use as shields and lengths of PVC pipe to use as lances. We wrapped them up with some foam, as some vain attempt at safety. Then, the jousters would sit in the passenger window of our cars and, well, joust as we drove past each other.
We stopped when one guy dislocated his shoulder.
We were stupid as hell.
1
149
116
u/Cyberhwk 5d ago edited 5d ago
When I worked in a casino we would get this sometimes. Some teens were having a home poker game or something and there was confusion over what hand beat what. So they'd call us up, tell us the cards and ask us which hand won.
23
251
u/Henry-Spencer0 5d ago edited 5d ago
I’m sometimes sad because the internet made us lose that.
My family and I used to have lively debates on stupid stuff like that, and we would celebrate whoever managed to dig the answer. It usually took a few days.
Now it take 17 seconds and… it’s more efficient for sure, but efficient isn’t always better.
Edit: I wrote loose instead of lose. Corrected it. Sorry English is not my first language.
156
u/Square-Pipe7679 5d ago
You say that, but we had an ongoing debate in my house about the difference between “best before” and “use by” dates on food: my mum insisted that both dates were the same, and you had to throw out food when it passed the date in both cases, I insisted that “best before” is still good to eat so long as you store it right and it smells fine
This debate had been going on and off for 10 years, and I never really managed to find anything specifically proving my point
Yesterday I finally found the source I initially based my argument on (government website which we were directed to in high school during a home economics class almost 13 years back), and lo and behold, there it was in bold writing:
“Best-before dates on food are based on quality rather than safety, and so foods past said date are still safe to eat, although the quality or taste may be degraded over time - use-by dates are based on food safety, and food must be discarded once it passes said date”
Showing this to my mum was apparently the holy grail of evidence, as she completely changed her mind and finally accepted what I’d been arguing for almost half of my life and had learned in home economics way back in high school.
For context on why this argument was so significant to us and seemed to last so long, she’s been a nurse for over 30 years and still works in medicine post-retirement, so she swore she knew better every time she threw out my favourite food (Jamaica Ginger cake, amazing stuff you’ve got to try if you haven’t already) despite it only being a couple days past the best before and still sealed. Every time she threw one out I’d bring up that best before and use-by weren’t the same, and every time she’d say they were and I’d give up because the food was dumped anyway.
Good god this thing turned into an essay, sorry about that, you just reminded me of how long and ridiculous that argument was xD
46
u/rbt321 5d ago edited 5d ago
Best-before dates on food are based on quality rather than safety, and so foods past said date are still safe to eat, although the quality or taste may be degraded over time -
More specifically, the taste may change, and it's not always for the worse. Some products improve with age but purposefully aging (warehousing) increases the cost more than consumers are willing to pay, so they have a Best Before which, subjectively, indicates better after.
18
u/Square-Pipe7679 5d ago
Exactly!
I think one of the product types they specifically mentioned as a positive change post-bb-date were cheeses made with moulds, and when I brought that up it made so much more sense
11
8
u/clearfox777 5d ago
Some products improve with age but…
Prime example of this for me is Sriracha, color darkens and the flavor deepens quite a bit once it’s been open for about a month and honestly tastes better than a fresh bottle imo
27
u/the_cdr_shepard 5d ago
In the Navy, on deployment we have no internet on the ship (yes in the year 2023) so we would still get into these arguments. In fact we were so bored we would debate about everything nearly all the time.
We did download the entirety of Wikipedia to solve some of the arguments, but for fun we had a 24h rule where you couldn't look it up until essentially the next day. I think there were only like 4-5 things we even bothered to look up lol. "Fun" times.
5
u/CopperAndLead 5d ago
That's wild- I remember my dad had internet on the Nimitz in 2004.
2
u/the_cdr_shepard 5d ago
There is internet but not very accessable or very usable. I was able to email home on average 3-5 times a week. So not nothing, but not available enough to just go run and Google something.
9
u/CopperAndLead 5d ago
The zipper displaces the button and a man lacks just that much time to think while dressing at dawn, a philosophical hour, and thus a melancholy hour.
Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451
5
u/randomseerperson 5d ago
You can still debate its legitimacy on the internet...when you search for it on google , disproven myths , such as screens causing eyesight pop up the most , and the actual reliable info is harder to find...
4
u/donnathan-der-weise 5d ago
i grew up with the internet so it was always normal to me. but my mother didn’t so every time we have a discussion about things she’d pull out her phone and say “let’s ask the oracle.”
19
u/Tactician_mark 5d ago
We also appreciated water more when we had to take the bucket to the well.
9
2
2
202
26
u/LeagueOfDolson 5d ago
Reminds me of my friends from college.
One night we all couldn’t decide where to go out or where to eat, so someone just got fed up and said “LeagueOfDolson, pick 1 or 2”. And so I picked a random number and we went to the place that was attached to that number…
Well that continued anytime anyone in that group had a decision needing to be made. Even to this day, years later, I’ll get texts and calls once or twice a month asking me “1 or 2” and then “thanks” and a Hangup. I never know what the options are / were and what was decided. I’m just the decision guy at all hours of day and night
24
u/MasterOfKittens3K 5d ago
Since this was posted by a sparrow, I choose to believe that the bird professor is actually a professor who is a bird.
5
4
u/NorthernSparrow 5d ago
So, true story, the real-life bird professor that this is about (my PhD advisor) is a field ornithologist whose real-life last name is “Wingfield” 😂
10
9
u/pogidaga 5d ago
A lot of kids and some adults think that butterflies don't have legs.
6
3
u/forgedsignatures 5d ago
Real experts know that the Common Swift (also called Eurasian Swift) is the only bird without feet. It says so, right in the name.
7
u/TheBirminghamBear 5d ago
I want a book series like those stupid Dan Brown books but instead of a linguist, it's just this bird professor who keeps getting called in on preposterous, world-saving missions by different governments.
His life is just a series of insane world-saving missions all of which just coincidentally revolve around bird things.
2
u/Richard_AIGuy 5d ago
It they would be FAR more entertaining than the Dan Brown books, and probably less absurd. Falcon emergency in Japan sounds more realistic than sperm killing virus.
4
u/TheBirminghamBear 5d ago
"A madman has hidden a nuclear bomb somewhere on Earth, but he has encoded the location within the migratory patterns of the African swallow!
Help us, Noted Bird Professor Paul Aviatorello, you are the only one that can save millions of lives!"
2
1
4
u/Lobanium 5d ago
I wanna meet these folks who thought a bird doesn't have feet.
3
u/forgedsignatures 5d ago
That would be the Greeks. I would like to introduce you to the Common Swift, also known as Apus apus ('a' meaning 'not', and 'pous' meaning foot).
3
3
4
2
u/SkySkytheScienceGuy 5d ago
I would've loved to be at that bar XD I'd be cheering right along with them
1
1
1
u/Claudius-Germanicus 5d ago
If you’re such a bird expert then why can’t you translate for the birds
1
1
u/theresamushroominmy 5d ago
I should just make sure to let everyone know: this is the author of the most popular Destiel fan fiction on AO3.
1
1
1
1
u/Kartoffelkamm 5d ago
great ornithologist
Is that like the equivalent to a high geologist, or are Great and High two distinct ranks in either profession?
1
1
1
1
u/Unanonymous553 5d ago
Ask’s professor instead of Google. Does this mean I may still have a job after chatgpt v5?
•
u/wholesomememes-ModTeam 5d ago
Hey there, friendo! Thanks for submitting to r/wholesomememes. We loved your post, but it has been removed because it doesn't quite abide by our rules, which are located in the sidebar.
(Rule #1) Posts must be memes.
We appreciate you thinking of us very much! For more on our rules, please check out our sidebar. If you have any questions or concerns about this removal, feel free to message the moderators.